When it comes to nagging I’m sure we’ve all had our fair share of it, the repetition of the same questions over and over again along with the same answers followed by the constant begging and crying of toddlers. It could in all seriousness drive you crazy; drive you out of your clothes!! Despite the frustration they won’t give up they’ll ask again this time with a “pretty pleaseeeeeee” and hope that you magically decide to change your mind in the last minute.
The mistake that parents make is that they do end up accepting what their children want after the nagging (most of the time it’s just to get their heart rate back to normal and rest their ears of the loud sounds) but this should not be the case because this type of negative reinforcement makes them believe that nagging does in fact work!
So what is the solution? What are the 3 Magic words?
Asked and Answered
So how would you use these 3 words? It’s simple; your child just decided to paint his favorite shoes blue and comes running to you to take permission:
Son: Mum can I paint my shoes blue!
Son: But pleassssssseeeee all my friends did it!
(Here is where the nagging starts, you have to repeatedly say no and explain why he can’t and the power struggle continues! So here is what you do instead…)
Mum: have you heard of asked and answered?
Son: he will most probably say no
Mum: You asked and I answered
At this point he will probably leave upset or rambling on his own
From this point on all you will need to do in any situation like this to stop the power struggle with your child is use these three words.
Asked and Answered
Remember it is much better to say yes straight away than to say yes after the nagging and begging because you surely don’t want to reinforce nagging with getting what they want!
Try this and let me know how they respond to these 3 words…